In this post I'll try to explain my view on life in general, from a spiritual point of view, and the motivations that come forth of this view. Strangely enough I have to start with the beginning, the beginning of our universe that is.
It all starts with the concept of oneness. Oneness is what I would call the state of the universe before the Big Bang. It is a state where being and non-being wasn't yet divided. It was a state where everything was one. Yet, somehow this oneness divided itself into two. We call the moment this happened the Big Bang. It is the moment where the oneness divided itself into being and non-being. It is the reason why some things are and some things aren't, the reason why some things exist and others don't. This being and non-being can be described as the universe (being) and the vacuum (non-being). The vacuum is the space in which the universe unfolds itself.
The universe itself consists of matter and energy. This enormous amount of energy and matter is unfathomable to the human mind. The universe is in constant change since the Big Bang. Matter and
energy exchange with each other non-stop which contributes to the diversity we see in our universe. What's so extraordinary about it is that it never increases or decreases. The matter and energy we have today in our universe is the exact same amount of matter of energy there was at the Big Bang. It changes, but there is never something added or subtracted.
From this universal matter and energy we, humankind, only see, use, experience a minute fraction within our tiny, little world. Everything you see right now in your direct environment is also part of that energy and matter. Everything around us is energy and matter that is in constant change. By this I literally mean everything. The computer you're working on, the table you're sitting at, the food you eat, the cutlery you use, the air you breath, the force it takes for your eyeballs to go from left to right when you're reading this, everything! Although some of these seem to be static, they are in fact all dynamic. Everything in the universe and thus on our planet is dynamic, is constantly in a state of change. When you zoom in close enough on a certain object this becomes clear. Zoom in on what seems like a sturdy, static table and you'll see that it's actually dynamic, constantly changing and continually in interaction with the environment it's in. You would see atoms, which aren't static at all and if you would zoom in even further you would see quarks, doing their own beautiful cosmic dance.
The point I want to make here is that this table is in constant interaction with its environment and by doing so it will eventually become something else. Something that we don't consider a table anymore. Through its interaction with the environment it will eventually change into something else. This can happen within a few days or maybe even a hundred years. If tomorrow someone decides to use the wood of this table to make a chair, then it would become a chair in the next few days and no longer a table. If we would put this table in a forest and wait long enough, it would eventually become mulch. At any given point this table will be progressing from one state to another, though it might not seem that way.
So when does a table become something else? Or when does something else become a table? Where does it start and where does it stop? Well, because of the constant change explained earlier there actually is no physical border and there never will be. It's purely conceptual. These concepts are something we, humans, have created to make our lives easier. Somewhere in the past we made the agreement that an object with four legs and a flat surface on top would be called a table. It makes life a lot easier when you can say "move that table" instead of "move that object with four legs and a flat surface on top". We made this agreement for almost every object known to man. We looked at the characteristics of a certain object and we agreed that an object with these characteristics would be given that specific name. That's why we can turn a 'table' into a 'chair', like mentioned earlier. We changed the characteristics of a certain object so it became something else. Analyzing and conceptualizing is something our mind is great at and it has huge advantages when communicating. Bare in mind though that in reality there is no such thing as a table, a door, a pen or anything else. The reality is that these objects are all states of matter on which a certain amount of energy is applied so it changes over time. The concepts we use to distinguish them from one another and the characteristics that come with that only exist in our mind. The reality is way too complex to comprehend with our mind. Even a single object is to complex to fully comprehend. For this reason we use simplified concepts. This makes it a lot easier to live our daily lives in this reality.
As a matter of fact we, humans, are the same. We are extraordinary complex beings who are also subjected to the laws of the universe. We are made out of matter and energy and exchange with our environment through matter and energy. We are in a constant state of change like every other thing in this universe. Just like the objects surrounding us, our mind cannot comprehend a human being. It is too complex, be it another human being or ourselves. That is why we also use simplified concepts to fill in what we are and more importantly who we are. It makes life easier in terms of communication and sharing. This bundle of simplified concepts of who we think we are, is most of the time coined with the term 'ego'. This ego was created by the mind from a very early age on to make life easier. Our name was already chosen for us, so the only thing the mind had to do was creating the characteristics that go with that name. When these were in place we were able to interact with our environment in a safe and more efficient way. It made us capable of getting the things we want and answer questions about ourselves.
"What is this?", "What is that?", "Who am I?". All questions that were answered by the mind by making up simplified concepts. It is the quest, the goal of the mind to find a definite, static identity and environment that has been put into certain boundaries and thus can be controlled so the mind itself can finally rest and have the peace that comes with that finally attained state. As stated before these concepts aren't the real answers and they never suffice to grasp a reality and a self that is too complex to be controlled. They are mere thoughts and a pale reflection of what reality is and who we are, but they do the job...as long as reality doesn't come along that is and shake things up with its change and complexity. Of course reality is everywhere, every minute so it does intervene on a constant basis with the concepts we made up, including our ego. Every static, definite concept we conjured up is constantly brought into question by the dynamic, changing reality, be it the objects we conceptualized as static, the simplified opinions we have about certain things and our own made up identity. The static, definite bubble gets popped over and over again.
No problem, right? Let's just adapt to reality whenever it kicks in, no? Well, here is where it all starts. We have become to think we are this concept we made up. We became to think we are the simplification our mind created and thus the mind became our master instead of the other way around. We became the ego instead of having an ego. We even consider it normal these days because almost everybody has this condition and is enslaved to his mind. It is sometimes called the condition of "normal insanity". It is here where the cause lies for almost all the imbalance you see in our world nowadays. It shaped the world as it is today. It is the foundation of the absurdity we live in right now.
This loss of recognition of one's true self and the ego has a huge impact on our behavior. We became to perceive ourselves as something static, definite. Whenever the dynamic, changing reality threatens to pop our static bubble, we experience this as life-threatening. We perceive this as death knocking at our door.
I like to compare this with a chess player who becomes one of the chess pieces he's playing with. It's pretty save to view it from the perspective of the player, but when you would become one of the chess pieces it suddenly becomes something really scary, even life-threatening.
The mind, as the defense mechanism it is, will logically respond to this situation. It does this with resistance through a fight or flight reaction. When these two options eventually fail it will almost always conjure up just another simplified concept in which the threatening change fits. This modified simplification of course isn't compatible with reality either, but it does the job again for as long as reality doesn't kick in again. We are no longer able to experience and accept reality as it is and adapt to it accordingly.
Both before mentioned fight and flight reaction have caused a great deal of havoc on this world.
It is the same fight reaction that goes from a small fight (the individual ego) to a full raging war (the collective ego). It is the ego saying: "I am this / I have this / I believe in this and anything else doesn't compute so I won't allow it / it is wrong / you are wrong / it shouldn't be this way!" By becoming the ego we want to be right rather than see reality for what it is. The ego tries to uphold the boundaries it has made and tries to prove at all costs it is right. We so badly want the concepts we made up to be right we are willing to verbally and physically hurt others and even kill to make it so.
The flight reaction on the other hand is that what makes people go into addictions like drugs, alcohol, a virtual world, etc. It is the ego who's running away from the boundaries it has given itself. Rather than accept the change, it temporarily runs away from the "Who am I?" question, just to later bump into it again, realize it still hasn't found an answer to it and so runs away from it again.
Because the mind continuously tries to answer the "Who am I?" question, the restlessness, and the worrying accompanied with that, that most of us feel most of the time arises. This restlessness drives us to search something new we can identify with, something that can be integrated in the static, definite identity we made up. This can be something materialistic, but it can also be an opinion, an ideal or even a living being. It is where the duality of happiness and unhappiness starts. We temporarily feel happy because we found something that goes with our identity and we think it 'll make us complete. Soon we realize we still aren't happy, even unhappy, so the restlessness starts again and we go in search for something else new that would fit our identity. This circle continues because the question is unanswerable.
This is also the point where capitalistic as well as consumerist tendencies arise. It is the individual and collective ego saying "I still haven't found myself, I'm still restless, I need more!". Capitalism and consumerism or no more than the externalizing of the ego into a system. A system based on endless growth because it will never have enough. Of course the impact of this system is getting clearer with the years. The rich have become richer and the poor have become poorer. We are depleting all the resources on this planet and reduce everything to products that can be bought so it becomes 'our' property, including living beings. Humanity, with its 'normal insanity', has made up rules by which everything on this planet is affected, be it in a mostly negative, destructive way. In these times we can say that most of the individuals on this planet have a negative ego because of its destructive, imbalanced tendencies. It is only when we realize who we truly are that the negative ego can be turned into the positive ego.
"Then what am I?" you might ask. I first want to re-emphasize here that the ego is merely a simplified concept conjured up by our mind and it is NOT who we really are. It is a concept that is meant to make life easier, to interact safely with our environment, nothing more. We are way more than that. We are beings too complex, too extraordinary, too wonderful to be grasped by an analytical instrument like the mind. The "Who am I" question can't be answered by the analyzing mind, because it will always become a simplified concept. It is something that can't be answered through thinking. It can only be experienced through observing. Observing is that which precedes thinking. It is being conscious without thinking, without analyzing. The only way you can experience who you truly are is through being conscious, through observing, so you can experience yourself and anything around you without the simplified concepts the mind made up for it, without the mind constantly interfering.
It is truly a wonderful experience to look at a flower, or any other object for that matter, and see it like it truly is, without a name, without the characteristics we've given it through our mind. It is an utter joy to perceive your ego instead of being it. When you stop giving everything these characteristics, you'll feel the restlessness, and the worrying that is paired with it, go away. You will be at peace. You will perceive the mind as it truly is: an instrument that can be laid aside when it isn't needed. You will experience that which you are: You are the space in which things like emotions, thoughts, the ego occur, but you are not those things. They all come and go. The only thing that remains is the space in which they occurred. You are that space.
And so am I. This is one of the reasons why I started this blog. It is to convert my ego into a positive one, so it can contribute to a positive change in this world. It is to distribute energy and matter between myself, others and the environment in a balanced way. It essentially all boils down to a question that I keep asking myself on a daily basis: "What do I want to share with and give to this beautiful world?" I now have a vague idea of what that is: The essence of the body, mind and soul.
To show people what magnificent, beautiful, extraordinary things exist in this world. I want to do this my unique way, be it a way that is scientific, productive, ecological or spiritual. I am here, put on this earth, to live my life to the fullest and so are you. So I invite you to live your life to the fullest, follow your unique way and share it with me, I'll do the same with you.
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